SMS - Silent Message Sending

Applying the Sit-in in residential setting is a central challenge in the implementation of NVR. It is important to understand that the main message conveyed by parents in a Sit-in is: We are present here in the room and control the time and the space. How to convey this message in a ward, where the staff controls the time and the space to begin with? Furthermore in the Sit-In the parents are asked to stay in the child's room for about an hour. How can a therapeutic staff which faces frequent emergency situations set aside an hour for a Sit-in? The parents are instructed to sit in the room, a ward staff, for security reasons, is not always able to do that. As a result of these complex constraints, adaptations are made to the Sit-in and in fact, out of recognition of the fundamental change made to the Sit-in, its name was changed to SMS (Silent Message Sending).
In practice two different SMS responses can be defined: The Ward SMS (W-sms) and the combined Ward-Parent SMS (C-sms).

W-sms - a day after a violent incident, two staff members enters the child's room for about fifteen minutes with another staff member present in the ward. The Sit-in is conducted so that the child is able to leave her/his room but in such a case would meet the third staff member. Instructions are given as to how to conduct a non-escalating dialogue with the child in case s/he should leave, but the two staff members remains in the room. The power of the silence as well as the joint response (in the entrance of two staff members to the room) conveyed the message clearly - we do not accept this behavior in our community! This is the meaning and the power of the SMS. The staff members present at the Sit-in are not necessarily those who witnessed the violent incident and thus the ward-wide message is enhanced.

C-sms is a more powerful reaction but also more complex to execute. In C-sms the parents or primary care-givers also joins in the Sit-in. This act lasts longer but has further consequences. Beyond the enhancement of the joint message to the child, the parents are significantly empowered by the ward staff. The parents receive advance instruction on how to act during the Sit-in and this joint action helps in furthering the positive relationship between the parents and the ward. Furthermore, after receiving guidance from the staff, the parents can use this response for similar situations at home - they feel more confident in doing so.